


Colin Morgan Doesn't Need Twitter

by selfinduced



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: Crack, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pining Arthur, RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-04 00:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1760573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selfinduced/pseuds/selfinduced
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It can all be blamed squarely on Twitter.</p><p>    or, alternatively:</p><p>    “I’m your gay boyfriend now?” Colin says with a straight, innocent face that belies the depths of his depravity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Friends don't let friends drunk-tweet.

**Author's Note:**

> Edited the whole thing for inconsistencies and rearranged a bit in addition to ending, so uh, worth a reread of the whole thing if you read it in the early versions. I blame exams for sloppy posting habits, but also blame exams for writing fic at all, so!

It can all be blamed squarely on Twitter.

He had meant to make an official one—which he did—and then of course wanted to have one for himself, and next thing he knew, he was drunk-twittering about the color of Colin’s boxers from under Tony’s bed at 4am.

Colin couldn’t be convinced to get one, of course-- _why would I need to get an account to read your “private tweets” when I can just read them on your phone?_ \--small mercy that.

Anyway, the thing is, it shouldn’t have been a problem.

Bradley needs a place to crash in London during a short break and Colin is off in America or somesuch and his flat is free because he keeps it year-round and Colin Morgan is nice to a fault, even if they hadn’t been mates, so of course Bradley takes him up on the offer to house-sit and it was all quite convenient.

Was, until Bradley realizes that Colin will be back for the last two weeks before filming and they’ll be sharing the place when he stops in before heading to Ireland and Bradley had been too excited to think of the consequences. Never was much good for remembering to think of the consequences was he.

So—

“I’m your gay boyfriend now?” Colin says with a straight, innocent face that belies the depths of his depravity.

-

Bradley hadn’t actually _said_ anything. It had started off something like—

“Bradley, this is Cecilia, Cess, this is the famed Bradley James, Prince Arthur of Camelot, the crown jewel of—”

And somewhere along the way, it had gotten easier to just shrug silently when asked if he was seeing anyone, smile politely but not leaning in with the girls, until they drew their own conclusions from whose underwear he twitters about and whose flat he’s staying at and Bradley just—hadn’t said anything.

So now Colin’s here, and of course they want to see Colin too, and Colin wants to go out, wants to meet his friends and there’s really no graceful way to back out of it, other than to come clean and hope Colin will see that staying away is the best course of progress.

“Look, I didn’t say anything, it’s just because of bloody twitter—” 

Except he’s bloody _Colin Morgan_ , who thinks this is all bloody hilarious. “Because you tweeted about my kit. So they know you’re in love with me.”

Bradley’s whole body goes hot and cold and he tries to speak and his mouth moves but he doesn’t really make sounds.

“I’m going to protect your virtue! No one will touch you while I’m around! Back off bitches, he’s _mine_!” Colin is way too chipper for this side of noon, and Bradley’s headache from the morning from night before reappears violently.

-

If protecting his virtue means touching Bradley inappropriately in public, then yes. Colin is doing brilliantly. A hand on the small of his back walking up, slipping down so it’s grazing just under the hem of his t-shirt onto the sweaty skin of Bradley’s back, warmth all along his left side and breath on Bradley’s ear nearly constantly to murmur _everything_ and Bradley’s bitten his lower lip to the quick, all red and raw and Colin keeps staring at it, leaning close, like he’ll maybe absently kiss at it and Colin’s a bloody good actor but this is not the time. Not the right stage.

“It just sort of happened, you know, we keep it low key and away from the media," Colin smiles at the girls, who of course have to ask when they started going out and are just eating it up. Colin's big blue eyes and big, big lies. 

It seems to be working out shockingly well and Bradley is relieved, disappointed, and terrified all at once, but Colin sticks close to him and strokes his arm and whispers in his ear and their thighs keep brushing where Colin’s pressed to him in the booth and keeps turning to smile at Bradley and sharing in-jokes and it's a blur of torture until suddenly they're leaving the pub and Bradley's survived. 

Colin takes his arm and leans in to ask quietly if he should kiss Bradley and Bradley makes a strangled noise that's mistaken for consent and Colin kisses him soft and dry on the point of his jaw and tells Cecilia, "Yeah, he's sort of an idiot, isn't he? But he's my idiot." Bradley neither hits him nor melts into his side.

When they're dropped off at their place, they lean good-naturedly against each other as they make their way up and Bradley is toeing off his shoes slowly, all achy from the contact-then-not and thinking about how Colin would look pushed up against the door and Colin grins at him.

"See, that wasn't so hard. I am the best fake boyfriend ever." 

Bradley rolls his eyes and walks to his room, shedding jacket and tshirt on the way, pulling off his jeans when he notices Colin still standing there, eyeing him and asks "What," and Colin smirks and says nothing and heads to his own room. He goes to bed hard and stubbornly refuses to do anything about it, suddenly exhausted and miffed at himself and the world at large. 

-

He makes omelets for breakfast and Colin comes out of the shower in just his towel.

Bradley gulps and mumbles something to the frying pan about breakfast and putting on clothes and Colin, because he's a sadist, walks into the dining area and grabs the pita chips Bradley learned to fry on some morning talk show and now can't stop making at every meal, “Because it smells delicious,” he says, licking hummus off his fingers.

Bradley's mouth opens and closes along with his and Bradley is definitely addled because he then says something about a "fish fry" and "some mates coming over" and Colin's all "I like your friends, they're nice to me" and Bradley retorts "that's because they think you're making an honest man out of me" keeping his eyes resolutely away from how waterdrops are rolling down Colin's chest and how it shakes when Colin laughs and says "Aren't I? You've been up since nine and you've made us breakfast."

And Bradley wants to say "Don't get used to it," except he wishes Colin would, and Bradley wants to say "this isn't fair" because it isn't because he hadn't realized that he was in love with Colin and it wasn't just finding Merlin the character hot or anything and Colin's stupidly not-gay vegetarianism and his stupid everything are just not _fair_.

"I was hungry! Can't a man get hungry in the morning after some mild indulgence?" and Colin only responds by holding up a pita chip up to Bradley's lips, trying to feed him and Bradley is—God, the tips of Colin's fingers brush his mouth—and Bradley thinks he might actually moan or something but then the phone rings and it's Katie and she and Colin are 'bonding' or whatever and Colin has to go and Bradley is very pathetic with his breakfast food and his stupid feelings. 

-

 

They have to make it look like they're sharing a bed when everyone is over for the fish fry, and there's a mini scuffle over who gets to "keep" their bed but Colin wins a thumb war because Bradley was staring at his pursed lips and sticking out tongue. So now his things are on one side of Colin's bed, soaking up Colin's smell and Bradley tries not to think anything too ridiculous like being jealous of his bloody sleep tshirt. 

Bradley's not actually sure what a fish fry is, he'd probably heard the term somewhere in America as a child and it stuck, but it turns out to be a mostly successful affair.

His friends are generally a good sort and Katie and Angel and even Tony drop by and some of their friends and it's all fun and games until two of Angel's friends are making out on Colin's bed and asking Colin to join them and Colin looks apologetic and goes "I don't know if Bradley would be okay with that" and Bradley's not but he's not going to be a cockblock and get in the way, so he tries to tell Colin this in the other room.

"I don't actually want to shag them Bradley."

Bradley pauses, stumped. "…I, why?" 

Colin laughs and says that's not what he's there for and they need to have some fun and drags him back into the living room by the hand and sort of doesn't let go except to grab his arm, his elbow the entire time. 

Bradley starts off for the kitchen with a hurried "I have to go," except Colin stops him, strokes the inside of his wrist in front of everyone and asks if he needs any help and Bradley shakes his head sort of blindly before making his escape but finds Colin behind him anyway, asking if he's ok and Bradley's not but he grabs more beer out of the fridge and turns to find Colin eyeing the floor. 

"This is about those girls isn't it. Did you want them? I'm sure they'd be happy to have you…" 

"Of course they would. Not my type though," he fakes cocky and walks back ready to pretend this is all fine some more.

But this time Colin doesn't take his hand and Bradley misses the touch of his skin which is ridiculous but made all the worse by how close Colin is and how he's laughing at Angel and Katie's jokes and talking to some girl from the crew and Bradley doesn’t even know what they're laughing about.

When they all leave, Colin is still quiet and terse and Bradley's afraid to ask but he does anyway:

"What is it, what did I do?" 

_"Nothing._ " 

But then they fight anyway—not their first one, but it feels dangerous somehow—about the girls that wanted to sleep with Colin and Bradley corrects that he didn't want to sleep with them, he just assumed Colin would.

“’M sort of attached already.”

Bradley feels like when one of the horses onset had kneed him accidentally in the chest hard enough that he fell down. But, "Is she going to be okay with this fake gay thing," he says without any quaver in his voice, or accusation that Colin hadn't even told him. Had touched Bradley's arm and pressed to his side and fucking murmured in his fucking ear like there was no tomorrow. And Bradley didn't even fucking _know_ that Colin was with someone. 

 

" _He_ has no idea how I feel about him so it's a bit of a moot point," Colin smiles a bit, sad twist at the corner of his mouth. 

Bradley stares, chest twisting and says "Oh." Can't understand what the hell kind of stupid bastard would do this. Why Colin did have to be into blokes after all, and still not--he swallows. "Right, then."


	2. It's not moping if you no one sees you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mope-texting might be worse than drunk-tweeting. At least a close second.

He goes rather downhill when Colin leaves for Ireland and starts taking walks and watching too much telly by himself and contemplating _drinking_ alone and avoids his friends, wondering—obsessing over—if Colin is maybe right this second shagging his _fucking boyfriend_ that he just sort of _didn't tell Bradley about at all, ever_. 

He sort of lets this on via text to Angel when she tries to hang out with him. 

"what? Colin is with someone? What?? let me check with Katie" she texts, and then gets back to Bradley with "Uh, I don't think so, no. what made you think that??" and Bradley doesn't even know anymore. 

"he said he was attached!" he texts in a non-wailing way that is only non-wailing because it's text, and this time _Katie_ texts him. 

"The only person Colin could be attached to is you."

Bradley sits down at a park bench, turning his phone over in his hand. Then, "So, hows the boyfriend?" He hits the send button. 

Colin responds alarmingly—reassuringly—quick: "Sweet, but utterly useless."

"Should I ask why?"

"Well, I miss him terribly, and he's rather oblivious."

Bradley tries not to think anything of it.


	3. Vegetarianism and Lies

The thing is, in the beginning, with his vegetarianism and stupid hair and his bony wrists, Bradley thought Colin's gayness pretty well established. It must be a part of the contract, Bradley told himself, using the unspoken but clearly obvious queer-friendliness to draw in support from all sides without putting anyone off.

But then they got a three day weekend holiday for Easter. It wasn't really enough time to go home or anything, but Bradley'd been poking around for sightseeing opportunities nearby. 

"It's a lake! You can go fishing!"

"I don't know how to fish, Bradley."

"Tony will teach you!"

"I will do no such thing."

"There could be boats!"

"Who would row them?"

"Swimming?"

"I suppose," Katie finally spoke up, leaning her head on Angel's shoulder, "I've been looking for a chance to try out a new swimsuit."

"You see?" Bradley waves his arms triumphantly, singing "God save Katie's swimsuit" to the tune of God Save the Queen. 

"I've got a friend coming down to visit," Colin's voice is hesitant, "I'm not sure I should go."

"Nonsense! She'll come with us!"

And so she did. 

Teer was sweet--quite funny, actually--and instantly got along with everyone, and very good at going along with what's already planned. Bradley hated her on sight.

Katie and Anthony set up a chess set as Angel took out picnic baskets and it was all going very well, even if Bradley felt a bit useless as the lake turned out to be off limits for wading, fishing, or any manner of things one does with a large body of water.

He tried to feed the ducks for the video diaries, and God bless Angel for keeping him company and distracted so he didn't notice how Colin wasn't joining in.

That that _girl_ was laying her hand familiarly on Colin's arm, Colin's elbow, Colin's _back_ and it was all allowed and all okay and Bradley wanted to say "Hey, no, no touching. Colin doesn't like that." Except, obviously, he _did_ , at least with _her_ , and it was just not Bradley and the rest who were that close.

Which was rubbish.

They'd been filming together and living in each other's pockets for a month and honestly, how were they not close enough yet?

Bradley, Angel, and the rest of the gang did their best to include Colin's friend in their adventures without putting her in the video diaries and if Bradley was a bit quieter than usual, well it was because he was being polite and leaving Colin to entertain his _guest_ and so there was a lack of shenanigans.

Instead, Bradley cultivated what he knew was a surefire deep and meaningful relationship with Angel, who humored him up to a point before telling him to go bother Colin instead. 

 

And then he ran into Colin on his knees between her legs that first night when he barged into Colin's room without thinking and learned two things:

1\. Colin Morgan, not as gay as previously assumed.

2\. Knock before entering other people's rooms was a rule that did indeed apply to Colin.


	4. It's not like Bradley calls himself Mr. Morgan-James in his head or anything.

Colin meets them back at Pierrefonds, and Bradley tells himself that it's fine. That it was fine when he thought Colin was into cock and then that he wasn't and now knows that he is, apparently. 

That when Colin's eyelashes were wet from the rain machine when shooting the season finale last summer, and they fucking _sparkled_ in the fading afternoon sun and it was ridiculous how Bradley didn't feel the need to ridicule it, finding himself breathless and staring instead, mouth gone dry with want, it was perfectly normal.

He'd swallowed stupidly and thrown a towel at Colin's face, yelling out something he hoped was scathing and witty.

Now though, Bradley has spent the entire hiatus realizing his all out stupidity, and doing his best to get over it. Really, there isn't much that came his way that he didn't shag. Two different perky blonds, a supermodel, and one set of really hot brunet Irish brothers who probably aren't twins--not that Bradley could tell them apart--later, Bradley pronounced himself well and truly over it. If he was avoiding actually getting to know anyone, it was just commitment issues. Everyone has them these days.

But this stupid fake boyfriend thing, and Colin being _attached_ to someone, and not coming with them all on the Eurostar, it's just not on. 

-

They're all a bit tipsy already, being driven from the set back to the hotel on the first day of shooting for a party that's mostly impromptu and mostly Anthony's doing, but Katie's the one who got all the alcohol and Angel has his camcorder and is recording everything in sight and giggling like it's hilarious even though it'll probably be lame later.

"Colin! No, Colin, you can't sit on my lap you slag!" she bats a flushed and happy Colin towards the back of the van where Bradley's hogging the two seats all to himself, stretching out his legs and smiling expansively at the rest of them.

"Fancy a shag, then?" Colin smirks down at him and Bradley, instead of replying with something appropriately witty and hilarious, just gapes like a buffoon as Katie and Angel _laugh and laugh and laugh_ , camera blinking red as Colin proceeds to situate himself in Bradley's lap and wrap a friendly-relaxed arm around his shoulder, posing for Katie's camera with his head tilted to touch against Bradley's.

So maybe not totally over.

“Did you guys know I was Bradley’s fake boyfriend last month?”

Bradley rubs his forehead, suddenly developing a headache, and the smell of Colin’s neck isn’t helping.

-

Colin's particularly affectionate tonight, not the fake show he'd put on for Bradley's friends back in London, but honest drunken leaning and side-hugging and then full on hugging and at one point they're outside alone on a balcony for some air and Colin nuzzles his neck and Bradley shivers.

"You miss him," Bradley whispers quietly, and Colin looks up at him with eyes shining absurdly in the dark.

"I did, yeah." 

Bradley runs off, saying something about how late it is, that he has to turn in. 

-

Colin's in his room when Bradley comes out of the shower, hands twisting against each other, and then suddenly on Bradley's chest, mouth fitting over his like heaven, like everything Bradley's ever wanted, and Bradley moans, pulls him close and soaks his clothes for a minute before pushing him away. "Don't," he moves away from the trailing fingers burning into his skin. 

"But." Colin swallows, "I thought you wanted."

"Not like this."

Colin frowns, "Like what--why?"

"You miss him."

"Who?"

"Colin," Bradley feels his voice rising and choking at the same time and backpedals, "look, I get it, you miss your—boyfriend—or whatever. So go call him or something."

Colin doesn't leave. Colin comes closer, “You are so bloody difficult, you know that?” backing Bradley into the bathroom and against the sink, “And dense! And stupid! I don’t have a boyfriend!”

"Then what—"

"You, you idiot. How many ways do I have to throw myself at you, do you think it's easy to pretend to be your boyfriend and then stop touching you!"

"You said you were attached! You didn't tell me!"

"I know, I should have."

"You said yes when I asked if you missed him."

"I said I _did_ , because I missed you, when I was away."

"That was too vague and you knew it!"

"I know. I just wasn't sure if you wanted me too."

"I drunk tweeted about your boxers."

"Yes."

"I hate you."

"You just need more convincing," Colin kisses him insistently.

"If I say no will that keep you trying by kissing me."

"Yes."

“Then I’m not sure I’m convinced. I might not be convinced for months. Years.”

“I get it, it's not like you haven’t joked about the Morgan-James household or anything.”

“That was once!”

“Bradley,” Colin holds his face and kisses him more, “Me too, okay?”

“Okay then yes I meant years.”

Colin laughs into his mouth.


End file.
